just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
Randomize
