i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
Randomize
