He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
How does one acquire holy water?
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
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