Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
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