This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
She made me go with her to get a pregnancy test since she's missed a few birth control pills. She made me park in the "expectant mothers" spot at CVS and preceded to ask if it would be in the pest control section.
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
Randomize
