wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
Randomize
