It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
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