physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
Randomize
