Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
Randomize
