Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
