my grandpa was trying to put butter into the pepsi and i'm like "grandpa what are you doing" and he looks down and goes "well i guess that wouldn't taste good anyway"
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Randomize
