I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Randomize
