oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
they call him Oral-B. enough said
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
Randomize
