Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
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