dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
Randomize
