Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
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