lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
i spelled "betch" that way on purpose, don't question my abilities as a drunk texter
Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
You ruined the universe
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
