Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
Randomize
