You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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