Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
This is the high leading the old right now
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
It's not a walk of shame if you run
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
Randomize