I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
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