Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
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