What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
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