talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
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