dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
You were sober bartending last night right?
Sorta. I remember you crying, ripping rose petals off the flower stem and slowly sprinkling them behind the bar at me and singing softly
Romantic
Randomize
