areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
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