i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
Randomize