hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
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