billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
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