At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
Call me as soon as you're able to dial a phone. I just took a shit behind a building in broad daylight and need to get the fuck outta here soon.
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize
