I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
my fingers and penis are no longer on speaking terms. My penis is too jealous of where my fingers get to go.
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
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