i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
You're a waste of cheezeits
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
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