Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
Randomize
