Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
Randomize
