4 words: hood of his car
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
I just got carded by a ten year old.
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
Randomize
