let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
I'm determined to sit on that face.
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
Randomize
