Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
Randomize
