He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
Randomize
