He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
Randomize
