Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
Randomize