i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
my boobs are a 3G dead zone. as soon as i take my phone out of my bra, it has a signal again.
No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
Randomize
