If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
Randomize
