I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
