everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
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