there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
Randomize
