what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
Randomize
