somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
We had sex on a dog bed..
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
Randomize
