The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
i just heard my neighbor say from outside my window "i don't give a shit what he does, what the hell am i gonna do with my son's penis?"
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
Randomize
