i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
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