is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
Randomize
