i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
Randomize
