I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
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