Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king.
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
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