so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
Naked Twister starts at high noon
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
I think i got beer on your cat.
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