It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
In case this wasn't clear when i said being his wingman was "hopeless", his date walked out on him when he poured a beer on his head trying to shotgun it
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
Randomize
