Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
The sky will open, cue choir of angels: "oh! wow! Matt was right! Not only will I grow out my bush, but I'm going to date straight, available men!"
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
Randomize
