The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
i just made my gag reflex go away.
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
Randomize
