We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
Randomize
