Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
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