Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
Oh my god. Just had sex with this girl on the boardroom table at my work at midnight (win!) just realized I left the condom wrapper on the table (lose!)
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
Still dying that you shit outside
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
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