I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
Randomize
