You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
Fuck appropriateness.
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
Randomize
