Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
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