You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
Randomize
