I'm in a cab, in a strange city, and my driver looks like he's going to eat me. My facebook password is **** I want you to have the one thing I hold dearest to my heart.
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
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