if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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