Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
This martini tastes like the bartender stirred it with his foreskin.
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
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