Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize
