I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
How's work?
Spinning.
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
Randomize
